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by KelseyLynnee
I hate how my skin is a tan color. I wish i had light skin. I dont like admitting my race because i know that if i do, someones gonna be right behind me, ready to stereotype. When im older and ready to have a child, im gonna make sure that i marry a man with blonde hair and Blue eyes, so my child will most likely have blue eyes. I already love my future child, i love him/her so much that im willing to do this for them. I dont want them to go through racism, i know its impossible, but its tough. It brings you down, makes you depressed, makes you feel unwanted. I have my future set out in front of me, but theres a voice in my head thats says "Your never gonna make it, your dream is too big and a better prettier, more talented girl is gonna come along and take it away from you, so dont even try, your nobody" and it makes me cry, i cry myself to sleep because i know how hard the road is gonna be. I also dont like how my father mentions the bad stuff that happened in the past to my race. It makes me feel like an outsider that doesnt belong anywhere, and it hurts, it hurts so bad that sometimes i cant even breath, i feel like trashing everything! screaming! ripping out my hair! hurting myself! But i know that God will help me. And my Family will be there every step of the way. I love you Dad, and always will. Same with all my siblings and mother. Thank you everyone for supporting me.
Number of entries: 5
Number of views: 149
Last public entry date: November 18, 2009 10:20 PM
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