Abstinence
Friday, November 30, 2007, 6:13 PM
I understand I am by far not the first person to realize this, but I must say, it is extremely difficult to find a proper man these days. Finally unearth a good one and you can bet next month’s rent he’ll be taken already. I’m really getting sick of this.
I know, I know, I really haven’t been putting myself out there lately and am therefore partly to blame. I can’t expect Prince Charming to just chat me up while I’m cruising down the aisles at the grocery store or studying at my local café… I’m sick of inconsequential first dates, unfulfilling affairs and abysmal one-night-stands, and that’s why I’m in such a schlump right now. But the only way to get out of my schlump and find a guy to really love would be to get the hell out there and date. Vicious, vicious cycle.
I never mentioned I was trying out abstinence, did I? I’ve been doing this for two months, three weeks, one day, and an approximate twelve hours. But I hardly ever think about it. The plan, of course, is to refrain from having sex until I fall in love again. And this, ladies, is how I expect it to work: I am depriving myself of my own primal urges, until my subconscious mind freaks out and tricks me into falling in love with whoever happens to be handy, intending for me to cut the crap and finally have sex again. Personally, I am focusing on the ‘falling in love part’, regardless of the absurdity of the rest of my ploy. Honestly guys, I think it’s the only way. I never seem to fall in love when I have sex in my life, so, after careful weighing of the options, I’ve decided that abstinence is what will ultimately let me reap the greatest rewards. Man, I sure hope this works. I’m going out of my fucking mind.
I have developed a crush, so I think the whole thing might be working. Rafe, yes. I really like him. He’s the first new guy I’ve developed butterflies for since I’m single again*. The fact that Rafe’s taken is, of course, putting a damper on things… A smart, fun, interesting, sexy single man – is that too much to ask?
*(I’d had feelings for Danny and Mr.T for years before all that stuff happened this year)
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