What is love?
Tuesday, February 9, 2010, 1:52 AM
What is love?
Y is it that we always want what we can’t have? Or wish for what we know will never some true, no matter how hard or how many stars. Why do we girls, always think that maybe he could be the one, even though we know deep down that he never ever could be, but yet we let him play with our minds and hearts? Something just not right with that. And it needs to stop. That’s what I have decided tonight to do. I have decided that there can’t possible be someone out there for me that can honestly love me for me, not my looks or anything along those lines, but for my personality. And I’m done wishing on stars; cuz wishing only hurts the heart in the end when we realize that they won’t ever come true cuz they are too far away. My heart is just gonna stay up on that shelf till it gets dusty probably cuz there’s not much left of it for anyone to have anyways. And all the tears we cry over men could probably flood the earth over a hundred thousand times. Why is it that we are willing to sacrifice out happiness for that of a boy's, someone who really could care less about us as long as they get what they want? Who knows what happens in the future, some believe that god knows, and that he has a plan for all of us but I don’t see that. I see just a lonely road where maybe if I’m lucky enough to find someone who will love me again. Why does love make us blind? Is it so that way we can act like everything is ok when we know it’s not? Or is to hide us from the misery that will catch up to us anyways, being blind for a lil while only prolongs it. sometimes I just can’t sleep though cuz its like all I can do is think about him, and if it was something I did that pushed him away from me, or if it really wasn’t meant to be? Cuz then he will randomly some days send messages saying he still loves me. Do I take him back, and get hurt all over again? Why is that when we try to understand what love is, we get confused but when we let it take its course, it sometimes shows us its true colors. who knows if any of us will ever understand the word love and all its different meanings, but until that day when someone does, my heart is up on a shelf, not to be taken down, left in a jar to get dusty and lonely, but dusty and lonely is better then battered, bruised, and bleeding in someone other then my hand to be never handed back.
Isn’t love suppose to be this amazing thing that u feel when u have it or are in it? Then why does it always hurt so much? If u have it, it hurts u; if u don’t have it then it hurts u still. Y do we all wish for something that hurts us? Shouldn’t we wish for something that makes us happy? Sure there are times when love makes us happy but isn’t there more times where it just hurts us? I hate love and yet it’s almost like we can’t possible live without it. I mean we all hope that we can find love, but what about those of us who know that we won’t ever be able to find it? What are we suppose to do get an apartment and fill it with cats? but what happens when we die all alone and our cats eat half of our faces off....(thanks sex and the city for that peanut thought) is love just something that we are suppose to wait forever to have, well what if forever never comes? Are we suppose to just keep waiting and hoping and praying knowing full well that it won’t happen? Or do we just let it go and know that it’s better to be alone, even though that we will always want it? Which brings me back to wanting and wishing for what we can’t have. Do we just sit here and reach and reach and only get dirt or do we give up? Cuz if we give up then are we just in the same position as getting handfuls of dirt? or do we keep reaching and believe that maybe and eventually we will get something out of it, it being our time, somewhat wasted. Oh and here’s another food for thought. If u let men walk all over u long enough, u just become the dirt that u are grabbing and how is it that u can be a doormat and yet u still have feelings? Should just stay a doormat or dirt and just lose all feeling to it, cuz if u lose feeling then would it still matter, that we are being used? cuz even if u we are being used then at least someone is wanting us....sure it’s not for the right reasons, but still....if that’s all we can’t get is that what we should keep with? maybe I’m never gonna understand and maybe I will but right now I don’t know what else to really say cuz its not making sense in my head, so when I understand it I will post it.
So for those of you u read my what is love one and two, this will make sense, those who didn’t it won’t. Ok so I have found love, and it’s amazing. Finding out the person u want to be with the rest of your life is amazing. There is nothing more satisfying then to know you have someone who know will be there no matter what, and you know that every wish you dreamed of will come true, that’s the best feeling ever. I love you Aaron. You have helped me so much to understand who I am and what I want to do. Everything I have ever wanted in a relationship you give to me. And I don’t know how I’m gonna repay you. Thank you baby. But back to what love is. When you find out what you’re looking for doesn’t let it go, no matter what. Some might say if you hit rock bottom then you can only get stronger and it only makes things in your life and relationships stronger lol. Everyone has dreams, and all you have to do is try and believe and you can watch your dreams unfold in front of you. Believing is hard though especially when u do it from the rock bottom, but the harder you try and the easier is becomes. No one said life is easy, it’s just a task you have to overcome and every day is different. Even those people who say every day is the same thing, you know that each day is a new and holds a new promise. The only thing that is maybe greater then love is dreams. Dreams are what hold us together, when all seems lost. If someone doesn’t have dreams, then what do they have? Nothing, cuz that’s what life is, or that’s what I think. If you can dream it then it’s possible. Nothing comes from sitting on your ass watching the world pass you by. I mean come on who honestly thinks they can accomplish things by doing that? You’re dumb if you think that, sorry it’s the truth. so here’s what I have decided, I have sat on my ass long enough, I’m gonna show myself what I am capable, I don’t need to prove it anyone but me. Cuz the only person I am competing with is me. No one else. And so here’s to a new leaf. Thanks to all those who have helped me realize this. You guys have helped me so much I can’t wait to help you out when u need it. I love you all!
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